“You’re too young to be engaged and get married.”
A statement I am far too familiar with since announcing my engagement to family and friends a couple weeks ago.
These words uttered typically by friends of friends or those family members you really aren’t that close with and for good reason. Thankfully close friends and family of my fiancé and I are ecstatic about our engagement however a few negative comments have been made specifically about my age.
I admit. I am, what most consider to be, young. I’m 22, fresh out of college, unemployed looking for a job, while taking some time to travel. The average age of when people get married is going up, I know that. The divorce rate is at 50 percent, yup, true. And my sisters both didn’t get married until their 30s but the comments about how young I am get to me.
Somedays I want to give these people making these moments the benefit of the doubt. Most of the people saying these things haven’t seen me since I was little, so yes, maybe they still see me as that little girl. And on other days, most days, I question why and find reasons to fight back against their simple, yet hurtful, comment.
My mom was 19 when she married my dad. Almost 40 years later and they’re still happily married. I’ve gone to 3 of my friends weddings in the past 2 years all of which were younger than 22, one younger than 18 when engaged.
It sucks when I know these comments are coming from people who would also comment 3 years from now if I’m not married, “why aren’t you married? Are you going to have kids, the clocks ticking.”
And then I think , well maybe since they’re on their 2nd/3rd/sometimes even 4th marriage they don’t want me to make the same mistake. To that I say, how dare you judge a love you don’t know.
I think that statement is true for any type of hurtful or negative comment on an engagement or marriage or relationship of any kind. I’ve seen at least one on most announcement of all of the above. Why judge something you are not a part of. Something you are not familiar with. Something you have no right to comment on.
Because this is supposed to be a special moment for me. One of the happiest of my life. So why is the first thing out of your mouth a comment on my age? And as I see it, a comment on a love you don’t know.
On a happier non rants note, yay! I’m engaged. T and I are so excited and even though the wedding won’t be for another 2ish years wedding planning is a fun thing so I’m wondering, would you like wedding themed posts? Let me know!
Also let me know if you have experienced negative comments from family/friends about any aspect of your relationships/life decisions. We can complain and rant together. I know I’m not alone in this.